The Dreaded Question

The Dreaded Question Do any of these exchanges sound familiar, fellow creative? Them: Sowhat do you do? You: Im an Executive Assistant.  (leaves out that youre a certified life coach kicks ass at it wont be an Executive Assistant for much longer) or Them: Sowhat are you up to? You: Uh.Well, I just opened my own shop on Etsy. Them: Whats Etsy? You: Oh, its just this online store thing.People can by my artwork. Them: And you make a living from that? You: Uh, well, Im trying! Ive sold some art and, uh, got featured on a blog and Them: Didnt you used to be a project manager? You: Uh.yeah. Them: Yknow, I know someone whos a project manager. Ill ask if they know of any openings. You: Uhthanks..  (leaves out that you will never (ever!) go back to being a project manager actually just sold you first piece of art in your shop) or Them: Are you still performing? You always loved that! You: No. I pounded the pavement for a few years, but now I perform in my husbands show. He writes new episodes of old sitcoms its neat! But yeah, other than that (leaves out that you miss performing in musicals are planning on auditioning at a theater youve found thats close to your new apartment) Today, were slaying the vampire that comes out to play when someone asks you the question, Sowhat do you do? For a creative person who might be stuck in a dead-end job (dead-end in their heart, at least) or embarking on a new risky career, that question can be a cause for panic or neck sucking. In my case, there are times that I dont pimp myself out as a coach because Im afraid people wont understand what it is, or theyll think Im a hippy or theyll question how I can possibly earn a living coaching. Ive heard similar things from my clients, especially ones that leave stable, lucrative careers to pursue their creative passions. They feel dumb admitting they gave up a sure thing for the nomadic life of an artist. They fear that theyll be judged unfairly, or not be taken seriously about their new endeavor. And above all that, they cant see how to put this weird choice (to the rest of the world) in a flattering light. Well, lets start here: Write an elevator speech. You have 30 seconds or less to describe what youre doing the length of an elevator ride. Imagine youre applying for a job, and have to sell yourself to the potential employer. What do you say to make yourself feel proud, while grabbing em pulling em in? Well, you talk up your strengths your accomplishments, youre not afraid to boast! So, instead of the Etsy exchange above, the answer that artist can give to The Dreaded Question could be, Ive decided to leave project management to pursue a lifelong dream of being a full-time artist. I opened up an online shop so that people can buy my paintings, just secured a booth to sell my stuff at the Brooklyn Flea, which is consistently winning Best Of awards. Im just starting out, but I already got my first sale have incorporated myself, so Im on my way! Im so happy to work for myself pursue a career Im really passionate about. Write out the answer above read it out loud to make sure that youre comfortable with it. Then, when you know it sounds feels natural, practice it a few times so that the key points stick in your head. You dont have to memorize it recite it like a robot, but I bet the Girl Scouts slayed some vampires by sticking to their motto: Be Prepared! Find the Why of it all. Why are you uncomfortable with this question? Why are you afraid to reveal this piece of information? Why are you making excuses? How does it make you feel? (Yes, theres a How in there, so sue me). Journal the answers to those questions, then start slaying by writing possible solutions. Ill start: Im afraid to reveal this because I dont want someone to ask if Im making a living, because Im not yet! I dont want to have to prove myself to anyone or have them see me as flighty or idiotic by leaving a stable job in a bad economy. So, Im going to let them know that I know its scary risky, but that its a risk Im secure taking. Maybe theyll even see me as brave, or say that they always wanted to do something like that! I can tell them that Im certified have been coaching for two years already, so Ill be ready when I go out on my own. If anyone digs any further than: (1) theyre rude! (2) its obviously a problem they have with themselves has less to do with me! Keep a Good Stuff / Warm Fuzzies folder. When someone gives you a kind word or a compliment, print it out put it in a folder or a scrapbook. If someone says it audibly, write it down when you get home or keep a notebook in your purse or pocket to write in. I have a Good Stuff folder in Evernote that I use, it makes it as easy as highlighting the text I want to include, clicking the Evernote button, choosing Good Stuff in the dropdown. If I get down on myself think, What have I done lately? Nothing, thats what! I go to the Good Stuff folder see how Im oh-so-wrong. Keep an Accomplishment Journal. Every day, write down at least 1 thing that you accomplished that related to your goal. Whether you purchased the domain name to your new site, or wrote a new blog post, or asked a friend about the class youre interested in that they teach, thats progress! You might not even think of it as a step forward during your hectic day, but thats some great ammunition right there. Celebrate! but make sure you know that youre celebrating because of a recent accomplishment. That way, youll condition yourself to feel good about a win, no matter how big or small, it might be something that automatically comes to your head when asked The Dreaded Question. Just remember what you celebrated lately you know what youve been doing right! Are you starting to look at The Dreaded Question as a way to reaffirm for yourself why youre doing what youre doing? A way to let just one more person know about your exciting new journey? A way to let that one person tell other people that might be looking to buy what youre selling? A way to celebrate your accomplishments be proud of the steps youre taking to live your passion? Then get out there shout it from the rooftops! Sing from the mountains! Or just stand a little straighter when someone asks you The No Longer Dreaded Question!